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Email from Shirty

Hi Ho Fools and Tools,

What better day to update you on my alleged career!

Last missive I told you those numbed-down slotheads Tapioca Hot Tub hired me to promote their vile drivel. I seem to have a talent for it since their new “song” Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze just hit NUMBER ONE on the Brain Failure Top Ten!! Click pic and see for yourself. Snapshot 1 (29-03-2014 9-22 PM) I guess my publicity stunt of having the band members waterboarded in public on the main drag of Vancooper has really paid off. You’ll be wondering how I can top that. Just watch me!

It’s our special day, widgets! Do something foolish!

My fly keeps unzipping itself and my shoelaces won’t stay tied.

Still pigeon-toed,

Shirty

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Email from Shirty – Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze by Tapioca Hot Tub

Hi Funsters and Dumbsters,

It’s Lil Shirty checkin’ in wit chas.

Since we last talked, Sinatra’s people (dead people have more fucking “people” now than they did when they were alive!) harpooned my GHB’d show, test audiences rejected my Jackie Wilson’s Last Months show, a whole slew of fucking lawyers from the likes of Little Richard, evasLittle Eva, Little Anthony, Little Joey, Little Caesar, Little Steven, Little Dick, Lil Snatch, Lil Yeoman, that bunch, descended on me when I mounted my Little History of Rock and Roll. I thought it was an excellent way to get lots of midgets working but others saw it otherwise.

Which gets us to now. Are you sitting down? I have a legit job!  Well, more legit than any ever before. I’m the PR person for the hottest new band out of Brotish Curlumpia – Tapioca Hot Tub!! They are yummy. They will give you erection, wet panties, icing on cake, whatever you want, whatever you need, they will give you. Try not to think of fish eyes in goo when we say tapioca or, actually, think whatever the fuck you want. How’s that for a pitch? THT suck big time, of course. Here’s a preview of their new fake hit, some dreadful drivel, and below a look at the PR material I have aroused for them. Lap it up sheeple. The end is nigh.

Someone keeps putting spoons in my mailbox. Can that be good?

Hugs and Ughs,

Shirty

Tapioca Hot Tub, the sensational new band from Brotish Curlumpia, are storming up the brain failure charts with their new hit, Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze.

mcluha

Tapioca Hot Tub are the only band to outsell Brotish Curlumpia’s première music act, heavy metal band Expletif FU, whose latest album, Pushing In Rabbits (a loose English translation), has sales of nearly a million. Tapioca Hot Tub has exceeded that number and now hold Brotish Curlumpia’s best selling title.

About their success, Canola Pan Spray, drummist for Tapioca Hot Tub, says, “We are closing to robots and closing to horses. Spray it around. You smell us coming in you.” Tapioca Hot Tub lead ganip ganop player Melty Smeltz says, “We’re more than just man pudding. Look. See.” Yes, they are!

Now you can be among first humans on Earth planet to hear their brand new song and watch their brand new video for Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze.

Tapioca Hot Tub will be touring Europe soon and elsewhere beyond. Be sure to find them out there.

In case you don’t know it Marshall McLuhan was a WWII spy from Winnipee with a penchant for smelly cigars and farting while seated. He was married to Marilyn Monroe. I miss him.

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