Finally! After multiple tries I’ve Gone Masonic as you can tell by the hat. What a proud expression I wear. It’s not the Freemasons. I’ve been accepted into the Affordable Masons, we’re different. No conspiracy theories here. We’re affordable. No Masonic temple. We meet in Tony’s garage and knock back a few. No blood rituals or aprons. Just the hat.
The hat BTW has been handed down in my family since the Dark and Scary Ages when Coke came in glass bottles with caps that had little round corks inside them. That’s what the hat is made of – the corks. They’re shellacked and the tassel, made of sheared Aumlomian yak tail, added. If you are lucky enough to find one of these in a thrift store these days I’d wager you’ll pay upwards of 85 cents to a dollar for it.