Hi Ho Fools and Tools,
What better day to update you on my alleged career!
Last missive I told you those numbed-down slotheads Tapioca Hot Tub hired me to promote their vile drivel. I seem to have a talent for it since their new “song” Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze just hit NUMBER ONE on the Brain Failure Top Ten!! Click pic and see for yourself. I guess my publicity stunt of having the band members waterboarded in public on the main drag of Vancooper has really paid off. You’ll be wondering how I can top that. Just watch me!
It’s our special day, widgets! Do something foolish!
My fly keeps unzipping itself and my shoelaces won’t stay tied.
Read Shirty’s previous email.