Email from Shirty

Hi Ho Fools and Tools,

What better day to update you on my alleged career!

Last missive I told you those numbed-down slotheads Tapioca Hot Tub hired me to promote their vile drivel. I seem to have a talent for it since their new “song” Marshall McLuhan Steels His Gaze just hit NUMBER ONE on the Brain Failure Top Ten!! Click pic and see for yourself. Snapshot 1 (29-03-2014 9-22 PM) I guess my publicity stunt of having the band members waterboarded in public on the main drag of Vancooper has really paid off. You’ll be wondering how I can top that. Just watch me!

It’s our special day, widgets! Do something foolish!

My fly keeps unzipping itself and my shoelaces won’t stay tied.

Still pigeon-toed,

Shirty

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Read Shirty’s previous email.

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