Daily Archives: May 21, 2011

The Rapture Update

Information is flooding in from around the planet about

 The Rapture.

Except for this guy – and who can blame him, look where he is – The Rapture is going smoothly with almost ten people ascended so far world wide. God thinks that’s a surprisingly high number but, for now, He’s going along with it pending a recount. So, oh oh for the newly Holy, don’t hold your breath, me Droogies. {Oprah, who has earned her very own special Oprah brackets {…}, is having wardrobe decision problems but is getting advice as we speak so we expect her to ascend at any time.}

The main theme, motif, texture, ambience, essence, aftertaste, flatulent burn and full burp reminder of The Rapture so far is if you are still here after two hours and three minutes, you ain’t goin’. So if it’s 8:03 p.m. wherever you are, you’ve been spared, passed over, unraptured. Kick back, it’s Saturday night, crack a bottle of something, strike a match, you ain’t going nowhere.

FYI: Our fate, we the left-behind, now rests with Destiny Builders Corp who are deciding an appropriately horrible death for each and every one of us remainders at the behest of The Great Behester.

I’ll have one more update on The Rapture shortly after midnight, just to say nighty night. Bottoms up!

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Prairie Dog Rapture? Repost

Reid Dickie

It’s been floating around for years and landed a few days back in my sidebar. I mean this painting of the prairie dogs with their paws and heads raised performing en masse what appears to be a ritual. Titled where I’ve seen it as Prairie Dog Rapture, I got curious about it. Do prairie dogs do this?

The painting is by a contemporary artist named Anthony Falbo, a multi-stylist who sometimes paints in Dali style, sometimes cubist, other times representational. His God Art site gives you the gist and gamut of his work. I learned that the artist’s actual name for the painting is Praising Prairie Dogs, giving it a slight twist, otherwise Anthony wasn’t much help.

Since image is the language of the soul, any picture on the internet will create its own mythology, as did this one. Some people stated and many believed that every morning and every evening prairie dogs stop whatever it is they are doing and spend anywhere from 20 minutes to half an hour grouped in this pose honouring the sunrise and sunset.

Over the decades, several of my long treks, including two this past summer, took me into southwestern Saskatchewan and Grasslands National Park. GNP has two large dog towns, which comprise the only Canadian habitat for prairie dogs, those varmints whose burrows broke the legs of horses and cattle. Easily accessible, the dog towns are part of the self-guiding driving tour the Park offers to visitors. Linda and I visited there together one year and spent hours watching the funny little critters run and play, hug and kiss each other and bark like, well, prairie dogs. I thought if anyone in the country can tell me if prairie dogs do sunrise and sunset rituals, they’d be at Grasslands. And they were.

Pat Fargey, a species-at-risk biologist at GNP, returned my call and was curious about the picture. Without seeing it and based on my description, Pat thought the only time prairie dogs made that gesture was when they were barking which was usually not formal as in the picture. I scoured internet images to find a prairie dog making the gesture.

There’s the gesture – prairie dog barking! It does have an element of Hallelujah in it, to be sure and I can see how Falbo adapted the pose turning it into praise. If prairie dogs spend an hour a day gesturing like this for whatever reason, that behaviour would be a well-known part of the prairie dog description and wouldn’t need a painting on the internet to suddenly bring it to light.

Nonetheless, the image remains evocative, even edifying. As a group, they share joy and passion, prompting me to imagine them about to sing as a choir of little prairie dog voices and wonder what hymn they picked and what it sounds like. Let’s listen…

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The Rapture starts at 6 p.m. local time

The Rapture is heading your way, beginning at 6 p.m. local time today. I remind you about clean underwear and offer this artist’s illustration of just what The Rapture might look like. Bon voyage! 

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Manitoba Flood Update – Saturday

Reid Dickie

This weekend we are getting what we need least – rain. About 30 to 50 mm is to fall in southern Manitoba and eastern Saskatchewan, the area covered by the Assiniboine watershed. Although water levels are decreasing somewhat – 6 inches in the last 24 hours in Brandon – the dikes, already under great stress, will be tested by this new water. The Corral Centre and Paddock malls in Brandon will reopen Tuesday, May 24, God willing and the creek don’t rise.

Further east the cut in the dike at Hoop and Holler Bend was closed and Selinger Lake is slowly draining away without giving us any real clues on what’s it purpose actually was. The spin on the intentional flooding changes daily and has gone from being the saviour of the province to having a gee, maybe, we don’t need this aspect. I’m keen to see what they’ve come up with today in the latest bulletin from Manitoba Water Stewardship out later.

Yesterday the Portage Diversion was filled to the brim with water almost reaching both the bridges on the TCH that span the Diversion. Work was continuing raising and shoring up the dikes. Lake Manitoba, the recipient of the Diversion water, is experiencing flooding along its shores with people scrambling to save their properties. Dauphin Lake is spilling over farmland and cottage areas.

While there are signs of improvement and officials appear a little more relaxed, vigilance is being maintained. The wild card is this weekend’s rain – how much, where and will the dikes hold? Stay tuned.

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It’s the End of the World Today!

Mornin’

Happy End of the World!!

Oh, hadn’t you heard? It’s The End of the World Today! That’s right, it’s today! Caught off guard, in the dark about who gets Raptured and who don’t, wondering if yer on or ain’t on the list to be ascended? Click Armageddon Today to get the answers to all your Endtimes FAQ as explained by Dan Murphy.

Clarification: in a previous post I suggested everyone wear clean underwear on Judgment Day because God docks points for skid marks. My friend Mitch pointed out that God doesn’t do the underwear inspections. That’s St Peter’s job and he’s been in a bitch of a mood lately so I’d highly recommend the clean tightie whities, just to get on St. P’s good side.

…as we know it!

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