Counting Down the Top Ten Religious Albums of the Week

#10

Incredible debut of Jeff, just Jeff, after his quadruple accident encountering a motor boat rotor, two sharks, three sting rays and a gay lifeguard in one afternoon. His left sleeve is empty and the web is riff with rumours and circumcisions about just what’s left of Jeff south of his belt.

#9

Despite his topical theme, Li’l Richard dives from #3 last week. Internet gossip squirted about his 4% undetectable hairpiece and 11% undetectable sideburns but couldn’t maintain Li’l’s top three standing. I’m sure that Li’l old bear can take it!

#8

Geez Freddie, sorry man. What can we do besides make your album number 8 this week? Nice matching tie and boots, bro! Brave, very brave!  

#7

What faith these girls display from the tips of their bouffants right down to the deft toes of their pennyloafers. Their inspirational songs about being used by Jesus have rocketed them into the Top Ten for the first time. Ruthina, the Faith Tone on the left, sometimes faints from the hairspray.

#6

Witness Jay Snell yearning, hear him parade his sins before your very ears, meet him behind the tent afterwards. He jumps two dozen other albums into number 6 this week.

#5

Combining eccentric forms of dance and defence has long been the purview of many evangelicals and Mike Crain has found his niche market. Using God’s power to break garden decor asunder, Mike jumps from 22 to 5 this week.

 #4

They are back for the fifth time and the Top Ten can barely contain them. Some are beginning to talk Brailettesmania! Their ever-singing hearts have propelled them into the Top 4.

#3

Blind Willie Sutherland, the one in the glasses, little orphan Audrey and Pastor Knackers all share their innermost secrets in song. The mix is unredeemable but the record keeps flying off the shelves. Holy-hearted business lands them at #3 this week.

 #2

After 69 weeks being on top, the Frocked Four have been dethroned. Having dismounted the top spot, the group’s future remains in doubt. Four solo careers may result. Still number 2 isn’t exactly being on the bottom, is it guys?

#1

From out of the blue, young Greg Kendrick has grabbed number 1 away from the group he describes as “my mentors.” He only has 69 weeks to go to exceed their record. Go get ’em Greg!

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1 Comment

Filed under Oh Dear

One response to “Counting Down the Top Ten Religious Albums of the Week

  1. You did yourself proud here…again…Dickie..! 😉

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