Shirty’s Ether World Report

Greetings Fandoolants and Fandoolettas,

Your bud Shirty checking in wit cha from the ether world of sub-moronic fail music and custodial wincing which will blow your hair back if you got any left anywhere on your body. Custodial wincing is the latest health rage out here on the launching pad, Brutish Churlumpia. Listening to dumb music to feel smart is only the beginning. This billion dollar baby is waiting to be delivered, long overdue, angry and punching from the inside. Hand me the scalpel.

Speaking of that I have developed a burping disorder that, after arduous medical and semi-medical testing using needles, electrodes and penal insertions, turns out to be caused by an excess amount of hummus in my diet. (If you’re wearing a cap right now, hummus is like dog food for people.) I’ve joined HA (Hummus Anonymous) hoping to kick the habit and the burping. I’ll keep you apprised.

My shrink, Doctor Unequipped, says all is well and being beaten on my testicles is an important part of my cure. I’m beginning to have my doubts. I think he jumped on the S&M bandwagon too soon and is regretting it now. He can regret it more though.

Career-wise my new company, Chump Change for Judy, is growing like mad. I’ve hired six new debriefers to keep the underwear flowing in a downward direction. The only other position open right now is Smelling Organizer. If you like feces, go for it.

Six new bands that sound exactly the same have joined my talent roster at Turd Polishing International. TPI is overflowing with effulgent these days and the charts are reflecting it. Three of my acts have Top Ten hits on three diverse music charts:

  • The Litter Box Lions are Number Four on the Petulant Pet Top Ten with Fancy Feast Fiesta, a jolly instrumental with plenty of scratching, yowling and burying;
  • Poon Tang Lagoon are Number Two this week on the Nudists Who Eat Beef at the Beach Top Ten with I’m Itchy, You’re Itchy, Live With It, a ska romp that will be still be played a hundred years from now;
  • Dave Clark Five tribute band, the Dave Clark Fivish are Number One on the Worst Tribute Bands Ever Top Ten with their version of Bites and Polices. 

Bulletin! Bulletin! Just signed last night after sufficient coaxing and cajoling, the Tar Paper Wrappers are now part of the TPI herd! Their first release, Sandra Has Lice, I Feel Bilious will be out next week. Download with the upcode and thou shalt be wrapped! Click the pic for a TPW teaser.Snapshot 1 (23-09-2014 10-17 PM)

Been doing some goose hunting. Only been goosed twice so slow season so far.

Check out custodial wincing for sure!

Keep your plunder dry.

Argggh

S

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Lycanthropy The Good Old Days Part 24

Snapshot 1 (21-09-2014 11-25 PM)

Disturbing our practice.

Don’t treat me like practice.

Tell them sorry I have practice.

Practice chaos and disorder.

Click pic to practice. 

Practice colours.

Practice til later.

Companion video explaining how it works

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=xCJpEt-6xsA&list=UUK8RFXarVMoslj21of_1brg

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IF you have to get dressed in the morning TV ad: Cufflinks The Good Old Days Part 23

Snapshot 1 (21-09-2014 11-06 PM)

Changing the way you change.

Click pic to see how.

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Five-horse, One-man Swather and Stooker The Good Old Days Part 22

Snapshot 2 (17-09-2014 1-33 AM)

If we could only figure out a way to combine the swather and the thresher and cut out the stooking part…click pic

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Mr. Ed Opening and Theme Song The Good Old Days Part 21

Snapshot 1 (17-09-2014 12-47 AM)

Click the pic of course

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Dance Marathon The Good Old Days Part 20

Snapshot 1 (18-09-2014 11-14 PM)

Just click the pic to swing and sway to the modern sounds of Glenda and the Slippery Floors

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The dust blows forward, the dust blows back The Good Old Days Part 19

Snapshot 2 (16-09-2014 12-50 AM)

 “Dust tastes like dust.” John Steinbeck

Click any pic for a taste.

Snapshot 1 (16-09-2014 12-57 AM)Snapshot 3 (16-09-2014 12-51 AM)

Snapshot 1 (16-09-2014 12-50 AM)

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Plan 9 from Outer Space Trailer 1959 The Good Old Days Part 18

Snapshot 1 (16-09-2014 12-06 AM)

It is safe to state that the grandchildren of some of the people in this theatre will not be born on Earth. Click Bela to find out how come.

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Folding Up the TV The Good Old Days Part 17

Snapshot 1 (15-09-2014 11-53 PM)

It’s 1959 again. Click pic and fold

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Monkee Around The Good Old Days Part 16

DICKTOOL KIT IMAGES 020

Go simian! Click the pic and turn it up.

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Smoking The Good Old Days Part 15

Snapshot 1 (10-09-2014 1-51 AM)

Sunlight soap and cigarette smoke – click the pic for a whiff

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Every Problem Available The Good Old Days Part 14

Snapshot 1 (10-09-2014 1-45 AM)

“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world…” Skeeter Davis 1962

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Beyond the Blue Horizon The Good Old Days Part 13

Snapshot 1 (09-09-2014 11-06 PM)

Click the pic to have the Three Suns entertain you from 1942

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Drive-In Movie Food The Good Old Days Part 12

Snapshot 1 (09-09-2014 12-09 AM)

Delicious and fresh, click either pic if you want butter

Snapshot 2 (09-09-2014 12-10 AM)

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Bowling Babes The Good Old Days Part 11

Snapshot 1 (08-09-2014 11-29 PM)

Click the pic to find out what nobody knows

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I Met Him on a Sunday The Good Old Days Part 10

Snapshot 1 (04-09-2014 12-40 AM)

 They’re balloons! Really! Click the pic if you don’t believe me.

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The tobacco, the tip, the taste and even Even-Waving Toni The Good Old Days Part 9

Snapshot 1 (04-09-2014 12-31 AM)

The hits are smokin’! Click the pic and see

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All you ever do… The Good Old Days Part 8

Snapshot 1 (02-09-2014 1-07 AM)

Click pic to do the do

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Like Millions of Others The Good Old Days Part 7

Snapshot 1 (02-09-2014 1-02 AM)

Click pic to see the light

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85 Horses! The Good Old Days Part 6

Snapshot 1 (31-08-2014 5-48 PM)

Click the pic for the power and the glory

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